Saturday, March 26, 2011

10 Things To Do On Sundays With No NFL

10. Watch Other Sports:
The season will be starting in the thick of the baseball playoffs.  You get to watch as the only thing getting hit is a baseball.  Well there is always the start of basketball.  Oh wait, they are going to have a lockout that is being called even worse than the NFL.  Well then there is hockey!  Wait which one is that again?  Does hockey exist anymore?  Was that the one with Wayne Gretzky or Bruce Wayne?  Okay well we can all watch Nascar.  Hold on thats just watching people drive around in circles 500 ties? Okay lets try the next topic.

9. Start A Project On The House:
All those things you have been putting off for later can get done.  That bird feeder your wife wants, done!  Garage door not working right, fixed!  Second bathroom for downstairs, awesome!  Now all of these things sound like so much more fun than sitting on the couch, beer in hand, watching football.

8. Train To Be A Scab Player:
You know you still have all the skills that got you to 10 snaps of playing time your senior year of high school.  Get back into playing shape and you are sure to be playing for the Cowboys in no time. It'll be just like that movie. In fact they will probably make a movie about you!  This is such a sure thing you should even invest in it, or bet on it, or whatever you can do to make extra money on this idea.  Just go run around the block for God's sake.

7. Hang On To Your Job:
Well lets look at just the players, 32 teams with a 53 man roster equals 1696 people more likely to do your job better than you, or at least as good and their autograph means more.  Sorry to tell you, but I much rather have Ochocinco waiting my tables than Bob from Smithville.  So also take into account all the other thousands of employees that will now need to find work and now you really have to step up your game.  Just be sure to dust off the old resume.

6. Watch The UFL:
Hahahahahahaha...Oh wait we were serious?  Okay maybe the league will not be as bad right?  They got Marty Schottenheimer.  They have decent players.  Whatever its football just watch it and pretend its always a Lions Browns game.

5. Check Out The Brett Favre Saga:
You know he is going to come back.  Lets be serious he will try he cannot go out like he did.  I will even bet that he will agree to go to training camp this year.  Then someone will inform him there is none.  Hey maybe he will play in the Canadian Football Team.  At least his talent level will be the same there.

4. Just Pay The Kids In The Neighborhood To Play For You:
Just throw jerseys on the kids and you got yourself some football.  Just watch out for the parents of the kid you make cry because he committed the Tuck Rule.  Remember to be really nice when the fat kids in he neighborhood ask why they are on the offensive line.  And when they ask for more money because they keep getting hurt, just tell them they knew what they were in for.

3. Just Watch All The Football Movies:
Remember the Titans, Varsity Blues, Any Given Sunday, The Longest Yard, Friday Night Lights, The Blindside, think people are really jumping all over this football cash cow?  Even Hollywood knows not to mess with football its worth too much money!

2. Resurrect The XFL:
Seriously Vince McMahon knew exactly what he was doing when it came to football.  That was a go idea from the start.  Okay at least Hehateme was entertaining.  Its better than nothing right? Right??? Well at least the cheerleaders are still nice to look at.

1. Spend Time With Your Wife/Girlfriend:
....For the love of God please bring the NFL back!

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